Episode #12: A backseat

[Anthony Robinson]

Time for a new episode, that last one went really fast. Today I saw the first parchment with my name on it. I wonder if it was the first vote cast against me. I would like to believe it is. Shawna's vote against me definitely made this less painful. Still sucks to see her go, she was a good player.

Not really sure what to think of her words. Were they bitter? Were they a warning? I know that what Jen and Yau were telling her wasn't true and I know that Jen didn't want to keep Brenda at all. Does she not realize that, or is there something else she wants to tell me? She didn't like, say she didn't like me or that she's mad at me. She can't really be mad at me when she went against me I guess, but oh well I am here and she is not so obviously she has more reason to be mad than me.

I see that people think I may have a good chance at Final council. I don't know though, I feel like I took a backseat in these last couple of weeks and kind of faded. I don't win challenges anymore, Jenn does all the lying, Yau does all the 'fixing' of broken relationships, and I'm just you know, voting. They keep saying Trinity and spilling stuff on our threesome and I'm taking a backseat in that as well. I don't really like what they are doing. Writing Trinity on the parchment... I don't know, if I were outside of it that would piss me off. It feels like gloating to me. Is that just me? I don't really feel like joining and rubbing it in. This Final 4 is just really great and I don't want Courtney to feel like she is irrelevant when the other three have an alliance. She is just as deserving as the rest of us. So yeah I feel like I've been taking the backseat both in the game and in revealing our alliance; it's not really bothering me. I do need to win this next IC though to step it up and to show that I am a strong competitor.

I'm also getting nervous for revealing my two alliances in this game. YauMan and Jen don't really know the details of this, but once it comes to the Rites of Passage there's really no hiding anymore. I will have to mention it I think. This just happened to me, I didn't propose any of this myself and just tried to make the best of it... oh well.

[Anthony Robinson]

Thanks for removing Penner's posts <3 They bothered me xD

[Amanda Kimmel]

May 2, 2012 13:42:42 GMT -5 Anthony Robinson said:

Thanks for removing Penner's posts <3 They bothered me xD

You're welcome. If he should continue, he damn well knows he's going to get fried.

He needs to keep it to the jury and save the rest for the FTC. That's what the FTC is for! A jury is only to post reactions. Smilies, looking around, etc. and "SHOCKER" can be justified as that...

But I'm really not too happy with him right now.

[Anthony Robinson]

Yeah it may affect the game... like, oh is that how people think of Jen?! I won't let it affect anything but yeah it did bother me and I could easily see this resulting into other jurors coming over to voice their opinion. Glad it isn't allowed

[Anthony Robinson]

Feeling kind of numb from doing the challenge. This post may be messy cuz of tired arms and fingers. I passed the 7 hour mark. Not sure if I made mistakes, I think not. That bonus challenge is not my cup of tea, so I don't think I will have a chance to win it. It's really a one shot thing for me.

So when I got on, I saw Jen doing the challenge. I forgot to keep track of the post counts, so basically I have no clue how good she did. She lasted long, that I know. I wonder how hard she pushed. I mean, all that should count is beating Courtney, but maybe something else is going on. For me what counts now is to show that I am indeed the beast here. I don't want anyone else to win this challenge because like I said I have to step it up. This is my thing, even though I don't really need the immunity that badly. Worst that can happen if I lose is Jen and Courtney voting me out, BUT YauMan will never vote me out so worst case is a tiebreaker against Courtney. I still want to win this though, just to be on the safe side and to show who's the beast.

In addition to that I'm thinking... well... we have this trinity. Jen however, brought up the idea of booting me at final 4. I don't like that. If she wins immunity she's gonna bring it up again and I don't like that. I prefer being loyal and sticking together no matter what, but this thing made me think you know.

Jen trying to win this immunity... and given how strong of a competitor she is... why not try and switch roles? What if I win immunity and try to get her out? After all, she would have done the same to me. Then next round my biggest competition for final immunity is gone. Jen won't take me to the final 2, Courtney won't take me to the final 2, but if I have a choice of going up against Jen/Yau or Courtney/Yau, then based on past challenges I have a better shot against Courtney. This all sounds very logical. Not loyal, but logical.

I will be open to this now. It wouldn't even be a thought had I not heard about Jen thinking of getting me out, but right now it is something I will consider. I will probably let it depend on YauMan though, I don't want to force a tie, ties are lame. I know that YauMan IS probably considering this. I don't know for sure, but he ran to me with what Jen said and he told me he's not a fan of it and not a fan of what Jen did with her story (he read it). It rubbed him the wrong way.

So IF I win immunity, then I will carefully bring this up to YauMan and go over the options. I don't quite see it happening, but it is a thought in my mind and it is something that theoretically makes sense for me to do. Just... you know, loyalty, loyalty to YauMan in particular, are going to play a factor too.

[Anthony Robinson]

Half of this conversation is in the conversations thread too, but I wanna have it here. This is important. YauMan is saying he's considering booting Jen over Courtney and I'm subtly trying to say I'd be on board with it. Now I have to hope I didn't make a mistake, because then Jen will be immune.

---------------------------
YauMan 8:12 pm
dont let Jen fool you she is pissing me off pushing for you to go

Anthony Robinson 8:12 pm
oh is she still after me
so that's why she doesn't want me to win?

YauMan 8:12 pm
as of an hour ago she was rooting for you to fail

Anthony Robinson 8:12 pm
ah

YauMan 8:13 pm
i was texting rooting for you to whoooop her ass

Anthony Robinson 8:13 pm
hahaha
well worst case is a tie then I think
if she persists

Anthony Robinson 8:20 pm
I saw Jen going for really long and I was like, why would you need it so badly? All we had to do was to beat Courtney, idgi :-\

YauMan 8:21 pm
she doesn't trust not being immune

Anthony Robinson 8:21 pm
does she think we'll boot her?

YauMan 8:22 pm
she is confident that she wants you gone and being immune will do that in her mind.

Anthony Robinson 8:23 pm
ah yeah I was wary of that when she went for so long :-\

YauMan 8:23 pm
With you immune and how Jen has been acting bout going against the trinity I dont know if I would vote to keep her

Anthony Robinson 8:24 pm
yeah during the challenge I started thinking about that possibility too honestly

YauMan 8:24 pm
I just dont understand alls she had to do was stay loyal. But now with you immune I presumme would she ha ve tried to convince u to vote me out

Anthony Robinson 8:25 pm
it would never come to my mind but since she is not for it I am thinking... well then what is best for us
she hasn't talked to me about that
then u would know

YauMan 8:26 pm
Id rather go to finals with those I have trusted al lgame and get my ass whooped I guess she wants to go to finals and know she can beat me or courtney

Anthony Robinson 8:27 pm
yeah agreed; if she would just be for trinity like we are though... I thought getting to F3 with the three would be a win for us in itself
I wouldn't mind who wins, but now I'm starting to think I don't want Jen to win lol

YauMan 8:27 pm
apparently not and I think she underestimates how loyal I am tro you

Anthony Robinson 8:27 pm
yeah <33

Anthony Robinson 8:30 pm
well we will have to think about it and decide once someone wins immunity; but I wanna vote together and be in agreement
(with you that is)

YauMan 8:31 pm
I defin agree if you win I am curious to see how Jen acts

Anthony Robinson 8:31 pm
yeah
she may still want to take you over Courtney cuz she knows Courtney would never take her to F2

Anthony Robinson 8:32 pm
or maybe she's thinking of a F2 of her and Courtney cuz she thinks she can beat her, I'm not sure how she thinks anymore lol

YauMan 8:33 pm
I doublt after my chat wiht courtney that she would vote you or me unless forced to

Anthony Robinson 8:33 pm
yeah Courtney will want Jen gone for sure

YauMan 8:33 pm
I dont feel bad for telling her either. I felt it was a line crosser

Anthony Robinson 8:34 pm
not sure what Jen's gonna do or think
yeah

[Anthony Robinson]

I checked all my posts (sorry <== control freak) and I couldn't find any mistakes. Given that there's less than 6 hours until the deadline, I guess I'll win. YauMan said that Jen did 8 hours. I did more. Look it did surprise me that Jen fought so hard. Not to sound cocky, but this was supposed to be my challenge and it's kinda obvious that she wanted to take my immunity and get me out. She took a shot at it, she gambled, and hopefully she lost. Then it's my game again. No more back seat, I am totally ready to go to the end. The only thing going through my mind now is "anyone is easier to beat in that Final immunity challenge than Jen". I just have to think logically now and do what's best for me.

[Anthony Robinson]

Now is the moment of truth. I want to vote Jen out, but then when looking at the game and what she's done for me so far... I'm thinking, yikes! It's so hard to vote her out, so hard. Still I think this is going to be the best for me when it comes to the Final immunity challenge. It's what makes the most sense for me to do right now.

I'm gonna wait and talk to YauMan and also Courtney to figure this thing out. Jen is talking to me now but she's not talking about the vote or anything. I don't want to confront her with what Yau told me either because I don't want to rub YauMan the wrong way. I'll wait for a bit and then decide. This isn't easy, shouldn't be easy.

[Anthony Robinson]

Jen Lyon 10:43 am
Didn't matter in the end Courtney didn't have time

Jen Lyon 10:43 am
Trinity F3 they are going to hate us!
---------

This is all she's said so far, then jumped to a different subject #_#

[Anthony Robinson]

Posting my parchments here...

[Anthony Robinson]

So in the mean time I talked to both Courtney and YauMan. Courtney is such a sweetheart. She gave me a plea why to keep her, sorta. I mean, I didn't even need that, I didn't need to be convinced of booting Jen, but yeah... she said how she's been loyal to me and YauMan. I like that, I mean, yes, she has been loyal and she's always been honest to us. I'm not exactly sure why she chose our side, I guess it's because we are real perhaps. I try to be real at least. The real stick together you know... and she probably noticed that we had a LOT of power in this game. It's always smart to keep them close, and Courtney benefited from that. I like that strategy, and it MAY take her to the Final 3. I told her I didn't have my mind made up, which was the truth, sort of. I mean, I did have a preference, but I wanted to be in agreement with YauMan first.

Then I talked to YauMan. We discussed our thoughts and preferences. I didn't flat out say I had a preference for Jen, I didn't want to push Yau into anything. So at some point he's saying this:

YauMan 6:13 pm
I think I know that I have to vote Jen tonight for so many reasons but I dont wanna do it if your not comfortable
and I dont wanna force the tie, Courtney will get eeaten alive

Anthony Robinson 6:13 pm
I'm comfortable voting Jen.

...............

So, obviously, we both feel comfortable enough voting Jen. We both think that she shouldn't have gone against the trinity. That was her downfall. YauMan IS worried about not getting Jen's jury vote and about other games they are in together, so I hope he doesn't change his mind. I mean..... please keep games separate! I'm not that much of a fan of them being in a lot of games together, but oh well... I shouldn't complain, in the end YauMan chose me over Jen even though he didn't know me at all. That's huge, that's what I call loyalty and I love it.

[Anthony Robinson]

Just been honest with Courtney; it made her happy that was nice to see. I mean, I hate to actually spoil such things, but oh well what am I going to say? Now I could explain her my reasoning and told her that she deserves it for playing an honest game. She likes such thing but yeah it's true. I mean, based on challenge performance not but she's had a lot to deal with. Now the worst that can happen is YauMan changing his mind. He was talking about his so many reasons to vote Jen though so I doubt that's gonna happen. He was going to tell Jenn about the end of Trinity... I'm kinda hiding for her now... these things are the hardest things of Survivor right...