Pre-Game

[Brenda Lowe]

Did someone say talk about cheerleading? Gurlfran, I am fab-yoooo-luzzz <3

Hi, everyone! I haven't really gotten a chance to meet any of you other than DDanielle (and if you're wondering why she's missing, I implemented my own little twist and kidnapped HER. That's right, bitchesss!)

I'm really excited to begin playing this game, but before that can happen... I of course have to assess the cast!


ACE:

He seems nice, and he was one of the several to get proposed to an alliance by Crystal already. Lololol. Other than him doing yoga, I don't know much. He wasn's all too entertaining so we stopped talking, though he did seem to like me. Eh.
Rate: 6

ALICIA:

Alicia seems like a good competitor. She seems like more of a physical dominator than a strategic genius, though, but hey - that could be useful.
Rate: 6

ANGIE:

Angie. Boring as all fuck. Couldn't talk with her for five minutes without bashing my head against the computer monitor. For fuck's sake, get a personality, you're one of the least serious players in the game. Goodness.
Rate: 2

ANTHONY:

Who? Both Survivor-wise and Kalahari-wise.
Rate: 1 for being completely invisible.

BRENDA:

OMG THAT GIRL IS FABULOUS. LIKE SERIOUSLY SHE'S THE QUEEN BITCH OMGGG I LOVE HER. DID YOU SEE HER HIPS. OH. MY. FUCK. And she WAVED AT ME. Eeeeeeeeeee my life is complete <3
Rate: 47

BRIANNA:

My boo <3 Brianna is one of the three people I like the most. She's traveled all over the place so she's told me all about the different customs of all these different locations. She's so nice. <3
Rate: 9

CHELSEA:

My other boo <# we waffle heart instead of real heart because we're tight, yooo. Like seriously, some of these castaways are already super close and I didn't know ANY of them, except Crystal. This cast is so amazing <3 Mainly Chelsea. She's phenomenal. Since she checked in we haven't stopped talking at all. Same with Bri, but Chelsea's even better somehow. She's just.. <33 Ah. Chelsea completes me. And oh my fuck SHE DOESN'T LIKE TOY STORY. WHAT THE HELL. Total princess.
Rate: 10

COLTON:

Haven't talked to him. Can only assume he's the epitome of shit if he picked Colton.
Rate: 0

COURTNEY:

Super sweet lady with an incredible story <3 Bri called her boring lol but no, she's really nice and she was watching Star Wars with her autistic son. Of course she wasn't gonna be full into our conversations.
Rate: 7

CRYSTAL:

This. Bitch. Sucks. Really, one of the worst players I've ever had the misfortune of playing with. He thinks that being a complete ass will get him to the end - and it usually doesn't. Of course, I wasn't letting him know who I was though he had his suspicions. And he made an awful first impression on everyone without me doing anything, which I wouldn't have done anything anyway. So sucks for him, he'll be an early boot.
Rate: 0

JEN:

Sweet but takes forever to reply.
Rate: 6

KENNY:

Boring and kinda dumbish it seems, idk. He's also playing as an annoying asian. Everyone knows I'm the dominant asian here. He'll have to go.
Rate: 3

MICHAEL

He's awesome. Pne of the three people I am closest with. Awesome, awesome, awesome. I really look forward to talking with him more.
Rate: 8

YAU:

Really creepy.
Rate: 4

PENNER:

He hasn't talked to me yet. Maybe because I haven't been on AIM today. Who knows.
Rate: n/a

HATCH:

He disappeared on me -__- Rah, bitch, that's not a good first impression.
Rate: 2

SHAWNA:

She seems boring too. Poo. Maybe she'll lighten up.
Rate: 4

DDANIELLE:

Gurl, she's fab. We're gonna move to a lesbian confinement camp after this and make babies. Cute little large breasted babies.





That is all, bitches. <3

[Amanda Kimmel]

Love your sass!

So... Crystal seems to be an early target? Do you two have a history or something?

[Alex Angarita]

Yes Brenda!

[Princess Parvati Shallow]

She kidnapped Danielle!

Love the sass, and your assessments are hilarious! <3

[Brenda Lowe]

I'm surrounded by gorgeous bitches <3

Crystal and I do have history, yes, but I'm not gonna let that affect my game. It's not fair to her or to myself. But if everyone else already hates her, why not get rid of her early on? Sounds smart to me.

I've actually known Crystal since.. 2010, I think. Always been a bitch. In a recent game she threatened my life and told me she wanted my family to die in a house fire. So, she's not my favorite fucktard.

THREE MORE BITCHES AND WE CAN GET STARTED WOOHOO <3

[bobdawg]

Can I please have my wife back?

[Brenda Lowe]

I hate to inform you, but your wife prefers asians. We appreciate the science of her boobjob, while you just appreciate the appearance.

Bitch.

<3

[DDanielle Mason]

Don't worry Bobby! I'll be faithful while I'm away!!

[Brenda Lowe]

You see DDanielle's avatar? That's her telling me not to let you know that SHE'S LYING. SHHHH I PROMISE I WON'T SPILL THE BEANS.

I swear.


Also, how does Brianna already have 18 posts That's a helluva lot. She must really be socializing with you fancy people.

[Brenda Lowe]

Updated with the rest of the cast.

[Brenda Lowe]

DDanielle and I are singing Friday on my pirate ship if anyone wants to join.

If you opt to not join, I'll be buryin' ye treasure in a faraway cove filled to der brim wiff mermaids and crackadillies! Ahoy, ye scurvy landlubbers!




Arrrrr!

[J.P. Calderon]

Omg you are hilarious! I love me some Brenda kick ass on her season, even more kick ass in Kalahari haha

Have you started thinking about alliances? anyone you want to see yourself at the end with?

Also, what do you think about the gamestart? Deception Valley will definitely be a fun ride! Good Luck

[Brenda Lowe]

JP, you might wanna avoid Yau Man's Confessional. He was just raving to me about how dreamy you were. He also referred to you as having a "big package of pork links" and making him drool.

And thanks Yeah, I'm really liking Brianna and Chelsea the most, followed by Michael. Shawna, Courtney, Alicia, and Ace seem sane enough, too.

And the first treemail was HILARIOUS. I died several times. Ghost pirates ahoy. It was the best treemail I have ever seen. Ever. xD I'm loving this game <3

[Amanda Kimmel]

Mar 20, 2012 22:36:06 GMT -5 Brenda Lowe said:

And the first treemail was HILARIOUS. I died several times. Ghost pirates ahoy. It was the best treemail I have ever seen. Ever. xD I'm loving this game <3

<333

Glad to hear you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

[Brenda Lowe]

It was long as all fuck, but it was worth it <3



Also Chelsea and I are gonna be the bridesmaids at Crystal and Colton's wedding.

We stole all of Colton's water and we're gonna burn his socks, but to do so Crystal has to get them from inside his pants.. and from that moment they will FALL IN LOVEEEE.

Then Chelsea and I will plan their wedding, pretend Crystal has the prettiest fucking dress on when her dress is utter shit and Chelsea and I will be rockin' in our bridesmaids dresses. Colton will also wear a dress because he's a little bitch and little bitches wear dresses.

So then they'll throw the bouquet and you know we catch it. Then we'd cut the cake. We'd have the first dance - and the next, and the next, and the next! We'd also make babies on the band's drumset just so we can say we did such.

When the wedding is over, the guests don't leave. The wedding flies away with us piloting the blimp and we'll drop the wedding in the middle of the desert where the guests will compete on Survivor.

Sounds like a decent plan, right?